Dom's Rambles

Part of Down & Out in Sheffield & Lincoln

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Something To Keep You All Entertained.

Here's King Kobra, one of my favourite 80s glam metal bands, with the song Hunger off their 1985 debut album Ready To Strike. Although this video has more than a touch of the Warriors of Genghis Khan about it, I still think it manages to convey a sense of the sheer joy and exuberance of those heady days. Unfortunately, this lot won't be reforming any time soon as Mark Free, their singer, had a sex change and is now known as Marcie.

posted by Dom # 8:38 PM 0 comments links to this post

Friday, September 26, 2008

We've Got Hate Mail!

Oh dear, I seem to have ruffled a few feathers with that last blog post - as the following e-mail attests.

Your stories are very good - but they aren't the truth.
Twiggy/***** had problems.
, but nothing like you make out.
When ***** ******* comes back to the UK, he is going to have you my friend.

It took me all of thirty seconds to trace the e-mail address back to Stu's ex wife. I've always found it curious - if not disturbing - how Stu manages to inspire such devotion in the women he discards and how they always seem to take it as a personal insult whenever anyone speaks ill of him (nice Yamaha by the way).

Okay, let's get down to a Fisking of that message.

Your stories are very good...

Thank you, it's always nice to have my efforts appreciated.

... - but they aren't the truth.

Oh yes they are. If you had the vaguest idea of why I wrote the fucking things then you would understand that were I to lie, or be willfully disingenuous, or make unfounded assertions then it would defeat the whole purpose of the exercise. Furthermore, how dare you suggest that either you or your Machiavellian psychopath of an ex were closer to one of my best mates than I was? Do you know that when Stu finally shat on Twiggy he immediately came round to my place and spent over an hour apologising for not heeding my warnings?

Twiggy/***** had problems., but nothing like you make out.

Twiggy was a hopeless amphetamine addict - that's a pretty fucking serious state to be in and anything else would have paled into insignificance beside it. I got to see him when he was at his most irrational, incoherent and paranoid worst so don't give me any patronising lectures about not knowing exactly what his problems were. And apart from anything else, I didn't use his addiction to manipulate him the way that Stu did.

The guy killed himself, I'd say he had problems way beyond I made out. The nerve Stu displayed when he turned up at the funeral and pretended to be upset was absolutely stomach turning, even by the standards of someone as disgustingly shameless as him.

When ***** ******* comes back to the UK, he is going to have you my friend.

I don't doubt it - although this time I'll have my wits about me and my perception won't have been dulled by some cunt using me as the fall guy in a juvenile prank designed to provoke a reaction from '...that one special man who will always hold my heart in his hands'.

This time I will call the cops, I will get my cooker dusted for prints and I will see to it that the bastard is sent down for attempted murder.

posted by Dom # 9:47 PM 3 comments links to this post

A long overdue visitor...

...checked in at 20:36GMT Wednesday night via a link from YouTube (I figured out from the host name, IP address and time difference between here and there that this was a work PC). Somewhere between 21:00 and 21:15 he bookmarked the site and hung around until 23:47.

At 05:34 the next morning he logged back on via a search on my name, this time from what I assume is his home computer, and spent until 06:49 going through the blog archives. On Thursday, at 16:07 he was back on the work PC for another hour and six minutes and, confusingly, after spending forty minutes on chapter seven, seems to have logged on again via the link on the Lincoln Bands website. I've just checked the stats and see he came back for five minutes shortly after five this morning.

And no, I don't get out much.

You do disappoint me 'Stu', I was expecting you to have come across the site a long time before now and, having already done my research for the 'where are they now' section of Down & Out..., I guessed the identity of my visitor even before I checked my e-mail. By the way, I deleted the message without opening it and all subsequent ones go directly to the spam bin so don't bother trying to contact me again okay? Believe me, Mohammed Atta will be figure skating on the Phlegethon before I’ll willingly engage in a dialogue with you.

To paraphrase one of Pat Condell's recent remarks, hatred is a self-destructive and therefore very stupid emotion and I try my best to avoid giving in to it. However, I do a very impressive line in bilious contempt and sneering disdain and I'm tempted to launch into a full-on Dom rant right now.

Except that I can't - for reasons I'll explain when I've had more time to think about the wording of my response.

posted by Dom # 9:51 AM 0 comments links to this post

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A Live Music Show Presented By Peter Cook - What's Not To Like?

I can't believe that it's thirty years, thirty fucking years, since the short lived and utterly superb live music show Revolver aired on ITV. The above clip also reminds me that it was thirty years ago last Friday (19th September) when Dom the fourteen year old pubescent punk rocker lost his gig virginity to the Stranglers at Lincoln Drill Hall.

posted by Dom # 11:21 PM 0 comments links to this post

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Random Thoughts On A Drive To & From The Coast This Afternoon.

Women who drive open topped Mercedes are always in early middle-age, have long, bottle-blond hair, wear Chanel sunglasses and too much make up.
Men who ride Harley Davidson motorcycles always have grey beards.
The Radio 1 presenter Nihal is the most annoying, embarrassing and excruciatingly unfunny arsehole in British broadcasting.
The two most influential guitarist ever were Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols and Ace Frehley of Kiss, not because of any technical prowess they possessed but because they inspired more people to learn to play the guitar than anyone else.
You will encounter more gruesome genetic deformities strolling down the main street in Mablethorpe than in a flock of inbred Chernobyl pigeons.

posted by Dom # 10:11 PM 2 comments links to this post

Friday, September 19, 2008

A Work Almost Complete.

The painwork and filling is now complete and all that's left is to put the thing back together and restring it with a set of shiny new GHS Boomers. Also it needs to be rewired, which I have absolutely bugger all idea how to do!

Help anyone?

UPDATE: Here's a peek at the (almost) finished product

posted by Dom # 7:38 PM 0 comments links to this post

Monday, September 15, 2008

"Jump, you fucker jump..."

Thanks to this clown I spent the better part of two fucking hours stuck in traffic this afternoon. By the time the I was home and had unwound enough to attempt some writing it was half past bastarding nine.

Next time I'll come up there and throw you off myself you pathetic, attention seeking twat.

posted by Dom # 8:27 PM 2 comments links to this post

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Not With A Bang But A Whimper.

Well it looks like I'm going to miss the end of the universe when the Large Hadron Collider gets fired up in a little over six hours time. As I try to focus on the coffee table I count eight empty cans of Red Stripe, I'm nowhere near full as yet and there's another four pack in the fridge so the chances are that I'll be unconscious when the resonance cascade scenario occurs shortly after 08:15 GMT.

I particularly liked the remarks made by a commentator on His Satanic Majesty's blog.

Uh oh. We all know what happend when Gordon Freeman last got involved in shit like this.

Needles to say, I shall be sleeping with a crowbar by my side tonight and if any lab coated zombies wearing frozen chickens on their heads come lurching towards me they will be shown no mercy.

Or perhaps it will be like in that Robert R. McCammon short story Something Passed By.

posted by Dom # 12:20 AM 0 comments links to this post

Monday, September 08, 2008

You Stupid, Stupid Fucking Hippies!

http://view.break.com/565864 - Watch more free videos

Via His Satanic Majesty comes this video of hippies (hawk, spit) crying and working themselves into a screaming fit (literally) of sanctimoniousness over dead trees. For a while I was convinced that this must be an outtake from either The Day Today or Brass Eye and I actually skipped through the extras disc on both DVDs to see if I'd overlooked it. But no, it's for real - besides, I doubt that even the comedic genius of Chris Morris could make up something like this.
My initial reaction was one of sneering contempt and open mouthed revulsion at the sheer, delusional self-righteousness on display but I soon found myself sniggering and by the time I'd watched it twice I was crying tears of uncontrollable laughter.
When people as fundamentally ridiculous as these buffoons insist on taking themselves so seriously the result is always pure, unadulterated hilarity.

posted by Dom # 3:33 PM 2 comments links to this post

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Seperated at Birth? (Part 2)

In the normal run of things clever people like me (who talk loudly in restaurants) don't watch such vacuous prolefeed as Big Brother. However, on Friday night I was subjected to the final programme in this series by my nieces, who insisted on watching it while I babysat.
I couldn't help noticing that runner up Michael bore an uncanny resemblance to a famous banjo player.

posted by Dom # 10:27 PM 0 comments links to this post

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Blessed Relief!

Like I said before folks, don't compose blog posts when you're blind drunk otherwise you'll have to heavily edit them as soon as you sober up.
Anyway, I’m off to Santa Pod this weekend (providing the fucking weather doesn’t ruin everything – you can’t do drag racing in the wet) so don’t expect anything else to appear on the blog until late Sunday evening.
In other news I’ve taken the advice of someone in the comments section and have booked next week off work with the intention of spending as much of it as practically possible working on the last two chapters of Down & Out..., the idea being to have chapter nine finished and uploaded before I hit the pub on Friday night.

posted by Dom # 9:38 PM 0 comments links to this post