Dom's Rambles

Your gracious host took his traditional Sunday afternoon stroll to Sainsbury's today (where he bumped into his son's mother - as well as a certain female he fancies the pants off but has no idea how to approach). On the return leg of the journey it started to piss down with rain so he jumped on a passing bus and landed right in the middle of one of the most uproariously hilarious drunken pondlife fights he's ever witnessed.

From what I was able to gather from overheard conversations, this had been ongoing for the entire journey but when I boarded nothing seemed amiss. When the female party (obese, sporting homemade tattoos and with the obligatory brood of dirty-faced kids) had rung the bell and got up to alight, the man (think 8 Ace out of Viz) grabbed hold of her as she passed and called her '...a fat idle cunt' to which she retorted '...fuck off you fucking piss head'.

It continued in this vein for a while, during which time I was having to hold my hand over my mouth to supress the sniggering, until some courageous girl told them to watch their language as the bus was full of children. This prompted an immediate reaction from the male who threatened violence and told her '...you can bastard fuck off too, you fucking prostitute'.

I have been in fits of giggles ever since - in fact it's incidents like this which make the thousands I've had extorted off me to swell the coffers of the welfare state and finance such people's lifestyles seem almost worth it!